Dr. Steve Hobbs -- Licensed Psychologist

Divorce and Separation

Divorce & Separation

Divorce for all involved is a painful, stressful time. While every divorcing family deals with this transition differently, in almost all separations there are intense feelings of loss, sadness, anger, and worries and fears about the future. Children, dependent on their parents and often confused by what is happening and what it means may suffer these feelings even more acutely than adults.

For over 25 years I have been working closely with divorcing families to promote healing, recovery, and growth. I have observed that mediation and/or counseling helps to significantly reduce conflict and increase cooperation between parents.

Even when there is unusually high conflict, families can move past the tensions and ultimately thrive. I assume three primary roles in guiding divorcing families through this major change.

  • As a therapist, I work closely with children and adolescents and their parents to help them with the problems they are facing in adjusting to the divorce. Anger, sadness, depression, anxiety and worry may all affect behavior, school performance and peer relationships.
  • As a mediator and a co-parenting counselor, I work with parents to help them amicably reach custodial agreements that are best for their children. Post-divorce, parents who may be getting along well in general may wish to return to discuss a particularly thorny issue around which tensions have risen.
  • As a parent coach and consultant I meet with a parent individually around his or her particular parenting and family concerns. He or she may be looking to improve collaboration with an ex-spouse, or deal with blended family issues, or get some advice about an adolescent’s desire to live at one house or the other.

Research and my extensive work with couples and families show that when tensions reach a certain point communication breaks down. In each of these roles I create a safe, welcoming place and offer my experience to provide guidelines and strategies for communicating so that each parent or family member can be heard and his or her thoughts considered.

The biggest challenge it to create the conditions in which both parents are able to do their best parenting. When we accomplish this together, everyone benefits.